No words to express.

Blog, Creative Projects

I never talk about it… cause really.. who can honestly do anything.. or even wants to.

All there is to do is talk. Nothing changes. You still end up feeling the same in the end, and the things that bring it on always spiral back around to remind you of how miserable you really are, and how hard it is to bottle it up.

…but you keep smiling. Not for yourself, but so you simply don’t inconvenience others by making them feel what you feel, cause that only makes you feel worse.

Its a struggle, and no amount of, “What you need to do is…” or “You need to look at it this way…” will ever help.

It always makes me feel more vulnerable to admit it. I have had depression for over 20 years.

I never talk about it… my social media is always full of all the good things in life.. but some days make me scream inside. #smilingdepression it’s real.

Go with the flow…

Blog, Creative Projects, Updates

Oh, the joys of painting with a toddler. As I finish one part, and get ready to move to the next like a blink of the eye… tiny little 3 inch hands squishing paint in the middle of it all!

Yay!

So.. ok.. looks like I’m doing another layer!

..but as she starts to emerge I’m kind of happy with how she looks. She’s really starting to get that “head above the water” feel to her.

Can’t wait to see how she decides to end up. My paintings always seem to have a plan of their own.

This won’t translate…

Blog, Creative Projects

Had this idea in my head the last few weeks kind of outside my usual bright and happy creations.

More like a heavy self doubt portrayed by the environment weighing down on a bright Pollyanna.. a feeling I always have when starting something new.. and omg, ugh!

Creative chaos all over my desk, and while it’s starting to look pretty it’s definitely not what I imagined.

…this is gonna take some time. *as I smear it all over in utter frustration*… ahhhh the mess…